Now I am not so naive as to think I could ever catch or gain a moment from your elusive stride. When you pass me by and pick my pocket, I feel your hands, tilting for the full amount. This faceless grin, this mockery in echo as it trails off, just seems to get to me. Oddly enough it is not the thievery that stings, but the arrogance of a smiling bully leaving a scrapped knee and tears behind him as he walks away.

I often find myself distracted while interacting with toys or ideas, maybe even a song or two but more so I sit in a room looking at walls closing in, waiting. No direction, no desire to look. I hear you laughing in the distance at the nine to fiver with a broken posture staring off in confusion at what your well placed hands took. Each moment is a gift we hear, but what about the the wasted ones? The ones we throw away like a half eaten sandwich? What about the many tired moments stolen by the grindstone that never gives way? Those nights sitting with vice in hand, repeating an already played out moment ( often performed many times more ) when earlier that day, promises were made that today would be different? This now, this perpetual useless feeling and lack of self worth prompted this letter, to you time. Yet tomorrow I ask for another gift, on bended knee with hat in hand…another day to spend it how I choose. In the morning, we’ll see, perhaps…and by evening…

Tim Kelley – 2011

Not sure where to start so I will just start at what I consider my problem to be, I am numb. Been this way for a few years now. It takes a good bit to make me laugh or genuinely smile. Crying is even a more distant relative. I have loved ones, friends, family, friends’ family with serious illness or dying and I feel so detached. Like I am watching it on the television. I see their hurt and inside I want to be that person to comfort but even as I hug them I think “can they feel this hug lacks what it needs?”. I, like many others, have been through my share of hardships. Not sure when and exactly where I lost myself but I see it clear as day. Every day I look for just a piece of who I used to be and just end up with today interrupting that introspection with a loud bang at the door. I remember a time when I was the life of a party, the guy that walked into a room of strangers and left with new friends. Now I don’t want to leave my cave, I’m a wallflower at gatherings or parties. I meet someone new and I have forgotten their name by the time our hands leave the shake.

I am a singer-songwriter first and foremost and find these days it is a labor to write anything. This, I think hurts me the most. I am torn knowing that the art longs for a listener and as each day goes by, I care less about you. This, my friend, is not me. It is not who I am nor is it who I want to be. Again, each day I look for a way back. Not sure if my creative drought comes from the fact that in all truths I don’t have much to complain about in the way of being alone or being unemployed or financially hurting. I have a job, I pay my bills and I have wonderful fiancee. I have friends. I am not alone. Which makes me wonder if I just don’t know how to write a happy song or write about anything other than things that hurt me or upset me. Countless times I have sat down and found that I have nothing to say. The music may be there but I really have nothing to talk about. Someone once said, “write about that. Write about writer’s block.”. I tried. The words are just not there. It was also mention that I write instrumental music for a while…

I guess it is envy/jealousy but I find that I can’t listen to other people’s music during this time. I go through phases where I don’t want to hear music. It is not the fame or fortune I am envious of, I know this. I hear a song that moves me or words that move and it seems to burn a hole in my soul because I am not doing this for myself. Songs are a gift I give to myself.

Anyway, I am and have been in some kind of funk, rut, dry spell what ever you want to call it. I am not sure if life has caused the music to stop or if the lack of music has caused me to notice life a bit more and grow more weary. Chicken or the egg. Either way I will keep searching for myself in all of this…as much as I avoid you, push you away, lash out, blame and curse you, I know in the end…I still need you. I just need to find a way to forgive what ever it is that is eating me up and love first without doubting eyes.

Thanks for listening.

TK

I like to think that most people have some level of introspection. The ability to look back at one’s self and learn and even laugh at the mistakes is all part of growing up. I would also like to think that I am not alone in that some memories carry such hurt and burden that you often find yourself pretending they didn’t happen or quickly thinking of something else when they popup.

This album has followed and weighed on me for the past 5+ years. Every song comes from a special place; each song carrying its own mistakes, its own pain, its own life. Writing these songs was a battle within itself, recording them and tracking as I relived each moment was yet another battle. For those that are close to me, you know that this album was to be called something else originally. The original title was supposed to be ‘Weary Minded Time’. I can say that had I recorded these songs 5 years ago, that title would have stuck. The truth is, I am a different person now. Every moment, every memory, mistake, tear and loss has brought me to this wonderful place I am today. I no longer look back at this time as ‘Weary’ instead, as odd as this sounds, I am lucky to have gone through it. The moment you find yourself at rock bottom and realize you are the only one left to pick yourself up, there is a moment between that pause. A moment where time stands still and a calm pair of hands are presented before you. You already know what is in each, you only need to make the choice. If you choose to go on, you will understand this album more than anyone else.

I want to say that I am so very proud of this album. I listened to it again today. It brings a smile to face knowing that in all confidence, I know my father would be proud of where I am in life. I want to take this time to thank the wonderful musicians that gave their time and talents for countless rehearsals, recording sessions and spent their hard earned money in gas to just show up. Every song I write is like a child to me and these musicians have given me the wonderful blessing of presenting them to you.

On this album you will find my best friend, second mother, music teacher and music soul-mate Peggy Killian on guitar, vocals, trumpet, flugelhorn, banjo and mandolin. She also co-produced this as well as the last album. Her ideas, her guitar parts and just her love for music, for my music, has added more to my vision than I can express here in words. You will also hear David White on drums. He is one of the most talented, kind and giving people I know and I thank him for his contribution. The last two people on the album ( and I place them together because I would honestly just repeat myself when speaking of them separately ) are Bryan Hall on bass and Michael Turner on sax. Both of these guys are easily the most talented and gifted individuals on their respective instruments I have come across to date. Each time I am in a room with them I can’t help but smile. They both have a bright and wonderful future ahead of them.

To you, the fan, the reader, the listener…I thank you for your continued support. I hope you find something in each album I bring you, even if it is just a single line that finds you. I offer below a couple of free songs for download, and links to order the new album and/or digital versions. If you order the CD off bandcamp, you will get an immediate digital download of the album for free. If you prefer iTunes, Amazon, CDBaby, Rhapsody…well you will find us there as well

Thanks for listening,

TK

Free song off Older & Wiser? – This is not about you

Free song off Beauty in the Flaws – Here’s a Penny ( Talk is Cheap )

Bandcamp

CDBaby

So I decided to create this blog and list out all the places you can find me on social networking sites, music stores, web radio etc. This way you can choose the path to TK groove ( as there are many ). I will be adding more as I get time, but for now, here are the most popular ways to find me broken down into sections.

Listen / Follow TK
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Buy My Groove
CDBaby	iTunes	Amazon.com	BandCamp	Android Market	Rhapsody
TK Merch. – Shirts, mugs, stickers and stuff & things!
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TK RSS Feed – ( Follow my blogs )

Oh, I look at her sometimes
Oh and cry
The storm is gone now
But I bruised her with my mind

Evil calling, calling me, evil calls me no I don’t want to take it.
Oh, let it ring and ring
Apologies echo sorry, sorry.
Echo sorry, please don’t go…
Later now run please you better leave me, go.
It’s calling calling calling me cal-ling calling me
On the phone.

I guess you’ll find a reason why, you walked out on me
If you know how to leave, then leave
If you know where to go, then go
If you know what to say…
well it doesn’t matter. ( no it won’t matter )

Don’t give me this if you want it back ( have you seen her did you watch her walk away? )
How do you say these things then leave them behind
Well the truth is I only miss you when it rains

I guess you’ll find a reason why, you walked out on me
If you know how to leave, then leave
If you know where to go, then go
If you know what to say then say it
and don’t give me this if you want it back
because it won’t matter. ( no it won’t matter )

I’ve got a skip, skip, skip to my step
it doesn’t take to long, sister I fell asleep when I wrote this song
but then I woke, woke, woke up swinging again
I’ll be swinging till the very end

so you see, that ain’t me just a second and I’m dizzy
I scream and cry and lie on the ground so loud it didn’t make a sound
but know this I wasn’t pissed at you or him, them
but only me, got no control can’t let it be

and so I got manic, panic, frantic attack
get back this swing don’t cut no slack so
brother, sister, mother or other don’t feel like you gotta turn and run for cover
cause it’s only me on me in a sea filled with sea and I’m lonely…I’m lonely

( swing sorry sorry swing, sorry sorry swing )
I don’t know what goes through my head
don’t remember going to bed outside
please leave me alone with the swing
and this song I’m going home
pick me up, pick me up and drop me again and again and again
I’m sorry, I’m sorry to fall on my friends

And so far, I am doing fine.
I’m lying, I’m lying, I’m sold out inside
Who needs the sky to remind that I am on the ground?

I told her, I told myself, I told them
That it would work  out.
Just a cloud in an empty glass, I don’t know what is me
But I know this isn’t it or
Have I just become
An empty glass?

honesty’s what you want
and I believe that you do
but only when it’s not about you
only when it’s not about you
that familiar sting you bring
when everything is fine
you find it in a short time
Call me when you have time         
and tell me what’s on your mind
don’t worry with him or them           
or even her, just call me when…
(Upper part)
I don’t learn, I know
I never listen, I don’t want to grow.
I’m always right so why fight
but you can call me when you have time…
(echo)
wake up, I know
wake up, I know